Long time didn't update my bloggie=) Here becomes a wasteland. Heehee... I am not happy recently!! Really not happy. I feel stress and helpless. I dont wanna to tell everybody because that i dont want they show any sympathize to look at me. My mum is not feeling well recently. She feel dizzy often.
I really worry bout her health. My aunt and cousins asked me to call my mum when i am
free. I dont know what can i do......I really feel helpless. my mum asked me to go back
on this friday due to my aunt invited me to a gathering but i cant make it. It is because
i have a dozen of exams on next week. too exaggerate but 4 exams. I dont know that can
i handle it.... as i found that i cant memorize too much things recently. No matter is
notes or other things..... i keep forgetting this and that. I cant even concentrate during
the lesson. Maybe because i lack of sleeping. Haha!! But then i will go back on next month
to move house. Finally, we are going to move into new house. I hope that my mum can
have a healthier life but not dirty, smoky place. my biggest wish is to let my mum getting
healthier. I dont mind to use my ten years life to exchange her life. I haven't let my mum
to enjoy a better life..... I still can remember when she was lying on the bed in hospital
with giving support by the machine and a large tube was insert into her throat. i wont
forget this scenario. I love my mum more than everything. I dont want to lose her..at least
not now. What can i do to extend her life??? Praying?? I hope that it works.......
Recently, i face a problem in relationship. Can i say that as a problem?
Because im not sure that is my problem. Maybe yes or maybe no. I feel that the concern
from him is getting lesser and lesser. I know that maybe because of his assignments and
exams so that i cant say anything because it is being unfair to him. I tried..i tried to
stick on him like a kid but i found that i didnt work..keep sending the message, talkbox
and anything to him but he didnt get any reply. The most hurt part was he said that i was
annoying. I was wondering that was he serious when he said that but i really hurt me.
And this also was the reason why i was so angry to him. I thought that i have used to the
long distance relationship but i was wrong. Till now i still scare of long distance. How far
i evade and how deep i afraid. my friends surrounding me have broken up with their
boyfriends....and i afraid that one day i will become like them. Everything will change
because of we are human being.
